The Whisperer - Award ceremony

I am interested in music. Once I got an invitation to attend an award ceremony. I was very excited about it. I dressed up in the best clothes that I could find and went to attend the ceremony. There were performances of singers also. Unfortunately for me, the whisperer was there. But he was mostly quiet in the beginning. I think he too is a fan of music. But then there was one performance by a young singer that wasn’t that good according to the standards of the whisperer. And so he got bored and started commenting after the performance was over and the female host started talking again.

“(What a crappy voice. The guy is a lion-tamer) Ladies and Gentlemen (What about me?). A big round of applause for the young singer (Let’s hope he doesn’t decide to sing another song!). That was a brilliant performance (She is a hell of a liar!). This itself shows the growing attachment of India to music (what crap!). Even the youth are now making brilliant performances (Yeah. Right!). And now is the time that you all have been waiting for (Are they serving food?) . The time to announce the best male singer of the year (Oh! Okay.). To present this award, we would like to call Mr. Ramdev, one of the greatest music composers in the country (Zimbabwe I guess. Never even heard of him).”

Mr. Ramdev was a very tall man. He was well dressed in traditional clothes. Looked like a typical music composer to me. He started speaking.

“All the nominees are so talented this time (so other times they are crappy?) that I guess it might have been very difficult for the jury to choose the best among these great singers. If I were to decide, I would give the award to everyone (That’s why they didn’t put you on the jury). But our culture demands us to compare everyone and select the best out of them (Obviously. This is the only way to identify who the losers are!). Although I don’t support this (we know you are just scared of losing), I think it’s fine as long as it is received in a positive spirit by all the singers (Look who’s talking!). So I guess I have talked too much (Did he hear me?). Let me get to the point (Yeah. The food). The award goes to………. (Oh come on! Just tell it. We gotta go to work tomorrow morning)

Samit Agarwal (WHAT?? THE CHUUUUMP).”

Samit was an unexpected winner. He was not my favourite. Turns out that same applied to the whisperer. Samit was a modern generation singer. Spiked hair, with a shade of green. The look was like he was a rock band member. But he was just a simple person inside gifted with great voice. He had been given a break by a renowned music director who he called Guru. And he was a little nervous person. Seems like he too was shocked. And he was a little weird. A perfect target for the whisperer.

“(What a peacock!)I can’t believe that I am receiving this award (Neither can we kid). I am absolutely stunned (so are we kid!). Okay I didn’t really work on a speech because I wasn’t really expecting to win (we also didn’t bring tomatoes to hit you with). But now that I have been given this award, I guess I am supposed to thank those who helped me (not really. You can just reject the award). Pardon me if I say something wrong (No!). I have never really done this (Yeah. We all have been doing this since we were born!)

So I must start by thanking my girlfriend sitting over there (Gosh! The new generation!). That pretty little girl giggling there (the joke’s on you chump. she can’t believe you won!). She was the one who, in the first place, believed in me and made me consider singing as a career (It’s all because of her then. Get her people!). My parents were not very sure about that but she somehow convinced them to let me at least try (that girl is getting to my nerves now!). If it wasn’t for her, then I would probably never take up singing seriously. (That’s it. I need to have a word with her!)

And of course my parents (the peacocks!). I guess today I have removed all doubts from your mind, haven’t I? (No son. We still don’t trust you) Now do you believe her? (no!) But I am still thankful to you too because you let me give it a shot (what do you mean “still”?). I guess we can drink beer together tonight Dad (Who’s gonna pay?). Don’t worry, I will make sure Mom doesn’t find out.(Dude! You just told her. Along with the whole world!)

And another sincere thanks to Guru sitting there. He launched me (who brought you back then?) and I can never do enough to thank him (You can by not insulting him publicly. The guy is scared to death). He is an awesome person (Nice start). Very cool. Never scolds you at all (That’s why you turned out like this!). Except for that one time in which I was late for the recording, I have never seen (his gun?) him angry. He made the atmosphere very friendly for me (hope you don’t mean literally!). He knew that I was new on the board and that I needed (to be disposed off) time and space (and money!). And he gave me exactly that (the money?). That’s why this award is also shared by him (don’t drag him into this). And I would also like to thank Innovation productions for all the money (is it over?). And of course the jury (they are a bunch of chumps!). I am compelled to say that it was a bold step that they chose me. (and a foolish one!)

And I thank all the people sitting over here for putting up with me with smiling faces (they are waiting for you to get down. You are soooo stabbed!). I hope to see you people next time also(Noooo!). Thank you. (Welcome)”

Poor whisperer. He was really disappointed that his favourite didn’t win. If you are reading this whisperer, you should come see me. I will console you. (Nice try! I don’t trust you!)