The Whisperer

It’s always been a mystery to me. Whichever class I attend, or whichever speech I go to see, or whichever movie I am watching in the theatre, there is always a character around me. I don’t know who he is. But I call him the whisperer. I have never heard a loud voice come out of his mouth. He only whispers. So that most of the people around him can hear it. But the speaker or the teacher can’t. I always hear his words. In fact I concentrate more on his words than the other words which I am supposed to concentrate upon. I have never seen the whisperer. I tried to see once but it’s impossible to tell where the whisper came from. Obviously the whisperer hides himself for safety reasons. His whispered comments are generally not suitable for many people to hear. They are sarcastic comments. He has become really good at it. I don’t know if there is only one of them or many more. I haven’t really met a whisperer till today.

An alumnus of our college had come along with his friends. He had been very successful in his life. More successful than his fellow classmates who praised him in their speeches. The whisperer as usual was sitting somewhere near me. I didn’t know where exactly. But his comments were always there. One of the alumnus’ friend started giving a speech. (and the whisperer put his comments in too)

“Seventeen years ago, we guys were sitting at the same place as you are (listening to a stinking alumni speech). We were the best of friends…..and still are (you missed the future tense there!). This college did not just make a good engineer out of me, but also a good citizen of the nation. I learned the basic values of life in this college. I learned to make friends (Didn’t you know that already?). I was a loner when I came here. I never used to talk to anyone at all (So you are making up for that now?). In fact to be frank, my family was so conservative that I was told to stay away from all the other students here. They said stuff like I will get spoilt and all that (all what?). But then slowly I realized that people were actually good and the problem was with my family and not with the world (Is that why you buried your family alive?). Especially my best friend Shyam, who now works in the US was really very helpful (Oh ho!). I still call him once every month (Why? Didn’t he return you your money?). I found friendship over here that I believe shall last forever. (Let’s see)

Let me tell you something about the fun part (Take your guns out fellas!). Our group had eight people. And I see that most of them are here. Except Shyam of course! (May he rest in peace). That sparrow-faced girl sitting there. Third from the right. There is a really funny story about her. Could you just stand up and introduce yourself Madhavi?”

Madhavi stood up an said, “Hello people. I am Madhavi. How are all of you? (We don’t talk to sparrows!)”. She sat down after everyone replied “Faaaine” in chorus. Shyam’s best friend continued. “Once Madhavi was late to class. It had rained that day. The corridor was all wet. She came running till the entrance of the class and precisely when she was about to get into the class she slipped. And she slipped badly. To the professor who was writing on the board, it was like she was shot from a tank somewhere from outside and had come and hit the first bench (Way to go with being funny dude!). She hurt herself badly (Was that how she became a sparrow?). We laughed a lot that day (And so are we today!).”

“I just want to tell all of you one thing (You might as well tell one more). These are the best days of your life. After college, life becomes all about competition and you lose many things (You lost your humour I guess). So just remember that you have to do the just two things in your life at the moment. (Eat and drink). Study and enjoy. Now I would like to give the podium to the hero of our group. He was and still remains a very interesting personality (The only non-loser in the group).”

Another person got up. He looked very old and spoke with huge pauses in his sentences. Ideal for the whisperer.

“Ladies and gentlemen…… (That’s it?)……..Good evening. (Did he just take a seven second pause to say that?). Whatever Raj just said (was a lie)…. I mean whatever good he said about me (was the only truth that he said)…. wasn’t really true. (Told ya). He said good things because it’s him who is the good person and not me. (Could you two just cut it out?) Yes we did enjoy a lot in college……. But we never ignored our academics….. we never bunked classes (he just lost the non-loser tag)…..Today we are what we are because we lived rationally (Who told you to live rationally then?)…. We never did anything that we thought was wrong (Smoking and boozing isn’t wrong, right?)……. I am not a very active person right now because I have a throat infection (That’s sad)….. So I guess I told you what I wanted to tell you (Keep consoling yourself)….. So that’s all I had to say. Take care everyone (Look who’s talking). God bless you.”

And then there were many more speeches. And the whisperer went on and on. His jokes were sick. And this is nothing. You should hear him whisper in emotional movies. I will tell you about one soon. I think one day the whisperer is going to get publicly beaten up by everyone in the theatre (Really? I am so scared……….Go to hell man!).