Wannabe Comedian

"Friendship is a very weird thing to have. The main aspect of friendship is where you draw the line. The line is the limit to how close you can take your friends to yourself. For some people, this line is very close to them. And for some, including me, this line is very far. Some might argue that there is no such line for them. And they might be true. But I can always make my case by saying that the line still exists but at an infinitesimally small distance from you!

We of course have multiple lines i.e the line is defined separately for each friend of ours. Typically, you tend to put a group of people at one level and then another group of people at another level. For example, your school friends. Since they are your friends since childhood, they might be placed behind the line closest to you. Of course this is valid only unless you had an experience with them which, after your sexual enlightenment in college, you found out was supposed to be awkward.
Then there is a set of college friends that you have. Even though they have been with you for a shorter duration of time, they enjoy the advantage of being more interesting to you since you are at the so called "embedding" age when you meet them. These years are those of teenage or adolescence. This age is called embedding because you tend to embed things that you learn during these years in your life thereafter till you lie on your deathbed, guilty. The principles that you learn, the habits that you develop during this age stay with you. So do the people that you meet during these years. However, a fair judgement would ask you to keep these people at a line far away from your childhood friends. But then fairness also asks us to do other things like respecting our elders, drinking milk every day, going to bed at nine and waking up at five, etc. Not that I am saying that these things are wrong. Just that one can always question your 'being fair' by saying that why not be 'really fair' by applying 'being fair' to every aspect of your life.

Coming back to the main point, most of us don't realize that like we have drawn our lines, others too have drawn theirs. And I would define an ideal friendship as the friendship in which the distance at which both people place each other is equal. But then that is hardly ever the case. We rarely find such a pair. One such pair is the Swat Cats. But then they are not for real. I wonder why I even thought of them. You have to give me a break though. You can't blame me for being interested in the lives of two cats who get along with each other so well that their team work actually ends up in them building a jet that can even fit things which look bigger than itself and also fly at the same time faster than all other jets. Moreover, with a blue exhaust gas coming out of its tail.

I am sorry for deviating. But I have to talk about this one. ‘Swat Kats’ was and still remains to be one of my most favourite cartoons. Oh, the music, the concept and most of all, their gadgets! However there is one episode in which I got a little confused. The concept says that the Swat Cats built their awesome jet out of scrap. And they actually have missiles in the jet which have diamond tips so that they can penetrate deeper. And that's when I wondered who the hell threw diamond away as scrap!

Anyway, coming back to the main point, we rarely see an ideal friendship around. And it can be proved, even mathematically, for those who really give a damn about what I am saying. And now comes the important question. What do you do when you find that your friendship with someone is not really ideal? What do you do when you find out that someone is invading you or that you are invading someone? By 'invading', I mean going closer than what the line allows you to go. Sometimes we can just change the lines accordingly. When the disturbances are minor, you can even neglect them. The bolder type of people open up and say it out and discuss such things. And the one thing about discussing such things is that they are self-driven. The moment you talk to your friend about changing his or her position on your line map, the position is already changed. That's what I believe. Because many times, it is the thought or the feeling that counts.

Anyway, I wasn't really giving you a solution. I was just telling you a problem. I know I sound like I am soon going to say something wise. But believe me, I am not. I never have. And according to my mother, I never will. But then I believe that the secret of being a great orator is to maximize the time for which you can fool your audience into thinking that you are a wise person. For those of you who want to enter politics, this would be my sole advice. And I don't think there is anything wrong in it. Everyone needs a boost to perform well in life. If you can provide that boost by simply being a hypocrite, then go ahead. However, most of the times you will find that people are smart enough to know that you are just a man or woman of words. Unless you do what you say, nobody will listen to you. We had better leaders in the olden days. You didn't see a king giving a war cry and then going and sitting in his castle while watching his men fight for him, did you?

So, I guess I have deviated a lot by now. I don't really remember what I was talking about. Something about lines and geometry and all that stuff. Oh forget it! Let me just get the hell out of here. Take care people. See you soon again."
And he left the stage to a mild applause.